Being Australian

When we arrived home I felt the overwhelming urge to get back in touch with some of the simple things that are unique to being Australian. I felt the urge to go for a long drive in the country, to take in the smells, and scenery that I have not found anywhere else in the world. The scent of an Australian Eucalyptus tree, Tea Trees found in the Australian bush and the smell of a good Aussie BBQ cooked to mouthwatering perfection.

We headed off to one of the best tourist destinations in Australia, Phillip Island (about 90 minutes out of Melbourne). Phillip Island is known for being one of the most prolific locations for Australian wildlife; It has one of the largest seal colonies in the world; it has a daily routine of fairy penguins migrating to shore from feeding at sea; it is home to some of the largest and most dangerous sharks; we even get whales down here and I havent even started on the creatures that live on the land.

Being born and bred in Australia means you get used to critters; big ones, small ones, smelly ones, dangerous ones and critters that are just downright annoying. Australia is most famous for its Kangaroos and Koalas and while we have plenty of them in our bushland, there arent many places that you can go to sit and pat these magnificent creatures without getting clawed, mauled or urinated on! (Sorry, bad childhood experience with a Koala).

But there is one fantastic place where you can pat tamed Australian animals, it's the Phillip Island Wildlife Sanctuary and that's exactly where we headed yesterday. I didn't know it at the time but Paul had never actually patted a Kangaroo, Wallaby, Wombat or Koala. He's been living in Australia for over 25 years now, but he had never had a close-up opportunity.

We entered this humble little establishment and with a casual glance over the shoulder, we were greeted by the local Aussie owners, "ow ya goin?" the young woman asked in a beautiful Australian accent. "not bad thanks, ow are you?" we replied. "we wanna pat kangaroos" I tell her excitedly. She reaches out, grabs two brown paper bags, places them on the counter, takes our money and says "go for it, ya know ow ta read the map?, av a great day!"

We toddle through the doors; brown paper bags in hand and make our way to the first sign that says "Kangaroos". At the gate to the grassy enclosure we are greeted by a large, aggressive looking Emu. He's actually not looking at us; he's eagerly seeking out the brown paper bags we carry.

We push the Emu aside to get through the gate and as I turn my back on him his head suddenly appears over my shoulder. His large pointed beak and menacing eyes violently thrust forward to steal the bag in my hand. Paul, who is off to my side, sees the attack and quickly turns, yells loudly and throws his arms about wildly, scaring the living daylights out of me instead of the Emu! The Emu ducks quickly and avoids the intended swipe and comes back for another shot at my brown paper bag. This time Paul thumps the ground with his feet and charges towards this crazy feathered beast. The Emu slightly flinches and repositions itself for another attack.

We battle with our gracious host for some 4-5 minutes, this is an Australian tradition, the Emu spies the food, he tries whatever he can, the Aussie flails about wildly until he finds a method that sufficiently shoos the Emu away...albeit only for a short period.

When there's Emus in the area and you're carrying food, you can expect this dance to continue for the entire time you are there. Unless, you opt for the more drastic measure, one we are not fond of, and you whack the Emu in the head. They keep away for at least 10 minutes when you connect solidly with one of them.

While Paul fends off the Emu, I spot the Kangaroos and head over to them. They are timid in this enclosure, reluctant to approach. I gently crab along, lowering my body to their level, hand outstretched with strange green pellets from my brown paper bag. Finally the Kangaroo reaches out for a nibble. Gently at first, she nibbles from the mound of pellets in my hand, as she makes her way through the feed I can feel her furry nose in my palm. She continues to munch and then I feel her teeth, she has mistaken my gold ring for food and is crunching away at the metal band on my middle finger. A moment passes and she realizes there is no more food and lifts her head for another handful.

We continue like this for a few minutes as I earn her trust and reach out slowly with my other hand to pat her soft, grey fur. The sun is shining, the wind blowing gently and I can smell the unique aromas of being on the land in Australia. My hand connects and I feel the soft warmth of a living creature. I place my hand on her back and feel her breathing, eating and balancing herself as she adjusts to reach more food. What a joy, to feel the energy of a wild Australian animal, to feel its fur in one hand and its whiskers and gentle nibbling in the other. I was captivated, hypnotized to the point that I hadn't noticed the brightly colored British tourists heading in our direction with two large emu's and six baby emu's in tow. I knew I had only seconds left with this beautiful girl before she would be scared away by the event that was about to happen. Sure enough, the next moment I hear the loud panicked shrieking of the pale British woman, I look over and see she is surrounded by the family of Emu, she is flailing about wildly as the Emu try to stretch over her extremities and secure the brown paper bag she is toting. One ducks under, one comes around the back, another sneaks up on an angle, the father comes in over her shoulder; the woman is under complete attack and its absolutely hysterical! (picture Jurassic Park Raptors attack with mores screaming and less blood)


My kangaroo looks up; she flinches and raises onto her tail and with a few pumps of her strong hind legs she is at least 50 meters away from me. Now I have turned my focus on to what is possibly be a decent entry into Australia's Funniest Home Videos... where is a camera when you need it!

We grow bored of The Brightly Colored British Tourist as she makes the fatal mistake of reaching into her paper bag and sprinkling some of its contents on the ground around her. NOoooo!!! We say... don't FEED them!!!! They will have won the battle and continue their efforts! Good Lord woman, what are you doing! But she is now trapped and all the Kangaroos that were in the area have hopped away to a more peaceful location.

We make our way out of this enclosure and over to the Wombat enclosure. These squat little furry, fat creatures are so cute, you just want to pick them up and hug them. But you cant, they will claw your eyes out with their strong burrowing nails. We walk along the raised wooden boardwalk, specifically designed so you can see into the burrows and the wombats can move about on the ground below. We spot a baby Wombat and her mother and make our way over. I have a well-prepared plan of how to attract this shy animal to me so that I may pat its densely populated and usually very dirty fur.

I sprinkle a little feed on the ground near the edge of the boardwalk, drawing the wombat closer. She responds and nibbles the food looking for more. And then I feel it, the thumping of the boardwalk beneath me as I hear the excited screaming of a small child running towards me. The Wombat looks up and scurries away. This time it's a gruff, loud speaking German family, also brightly colored. They reach into their brown paper bags and took aim and throw the feed at the Wombats.

Grrrrrr.... another 10 minutes passed by, the German tourists grow bored of waiting for this wild animal to come to them...They probably couldn't figure it out... why wasn't this animal responding to them. Dumb animal.

As they left we gently approached uttering cooing noises to pacify the traumatized Wombat. I placed some feed on the edge of the boardwalk, ready to wait for her to gain her confidence back. But, she must have worked up an appetite because she climbed straight up onto the timber and started crunching away on the food provided. ***
I reached out and patted her warm, bristly hair and gave her ears a tweak. She seemed to respond positively as she continued to eat. We enjoyed this connection for a short while and gave all the feed to the mother Wombat.

We walked through the large property, across the grass, through some trees, over a creekbed until we came upon a small Tea Tree forest. The trees were all barren from the ground upwards to about 10 feet, then the sprucey green vegetation of the tree sprouted and created a small canopy shielding us from the hot sun. As we walked through this small forest it became very quiet; very still; it kinda felt like we were being watched. We looked around, peered into the grey trees, lined by grey soil and there we saw them, dozens of them, sitting still, standing still, lying still, but all eyes focused on us. A herd of Big Grey Kangaroos were observing the intruders; all heads turned in our direction, just watching, and no movement, just eerie silence.

In the wild, this would not be a good situation, especially if there were females in the herd that were 'in season'. Male Kangaroos are known for their aggressive tendencies and it is not uncommon for a "Big Grey' to bound over to a human, wrap his short forearms around the victims neck, lean back on its massive tail and beat the stuffing out of the humans underbelly. Last year a child was brutally savaged by a 'rutting' Kangaroo on the edge of a suburban golf course. The boy had his stomach ripped to shreds and almost died.

So you see our situation was, shall we say, filled with that mixture of excitement and fear. We were a long way from the main enclosures and if one of these creatures decided to attack, it could be very nasty. As we made our way through this forest it became apparent that we were safe. There would be no newspaper headlines out of this trip.

We rounded a bend and came out into a clearing next to a small pond. On the open grass we could see big reds and big greys lying in the afternoon sun, all of them watching us. We made our way to an open area and stood still. One by one these magnificent creatures rose and with a few short bounds were at our feet looking for food.

Surrounded by large Kangaroos is a thrilling experience, one Paul had not experienced before. You can feel their strength just looking at them at close range and when they want food, damn it, they get food. They started ripping at our bags before we could get them open. I could sense the panic in Paul as he started throwing food away from him saying "here have it, take it, just get away".

I opened my bag and reached in for a handful, extended my palm and a big male reached over the top of the others, grabbed my hand with both of his front paws and held me tight. He plunged his face into my hand and I immediately felt the difference in his size, his teeth were large and powerful. Yep, better get more food, quick, or else I might not come away with my ring in tact with this boy.

We fed this group for about 20 minutes; we were completely alone out there in the wetlands, no cars, no people, no phones and no noise. Just us, the birds, the wind and several large Kangaroos. It was exhilarating, liberating and peaceful all at the same time.

We left the pack without a scrap of food. Even the paper bags had been torn from our hands and ripped to shreds. We walked away backwards just incase they didn't believe we were empty. They all looked; some of them gently followed then after a while we were free to go.

My god, what an honor, to hand feed Kangaroos, a pack of them, males, females and oh... I forgot to mention, just as Paul was feeding this medium sized female, out pops a head from within her pouch, her 'Joey' got curious about the fuss and decided to check things out. Paul took the opportunity to do the most precious of all, feed a baby while it was still in its mother's pouch. Wow.

We made our way back to the entrance of the wildlife park, stopping to say hi to some Wallabies, talk to the Cockatoos, sing them a song, and dance with them. We visited a family of Dingoes; their pups came over to greet us. We felt like voyeurs when we stopped to say hi to the Lace Monitors and found them in a loving embrace, deep in the throws of passion. We said goodbye to the sleepy Koalas that hadn't bothered to wake for our visit and then lastly we said a chilled goodbye to the bluenecked, axe wielding most bizarre creature, the Cassowary.

Grins on our faces, a trace of redness on our skin from the scorching Australian sun, we climbed into the steaming hot car and looked at each other; a big sigh of peace, relief and gratitude....ahhh....that's what it feels like to be an Australian.